I know this is a lovely topic (and image) to be talking about so close to Christmas but I found I just had to share.
This is in fact my 3rd(!) hemorrhoid ever. (Please feel sorry for me.) The first was after I had my first baby. Like all new mothers, I was constipated, every time I went to the bathroom it felt like I had to go #2. Right? I would sit for hours and nothing would happen.
Well, finally I got out my mirror and saw my little friend. The good news was it was barely noticeable comfort wise and was gone within a day.
My second hemorrhoid experience was last year at this time. I don't remember any significant bathroom habits, I wasn't pregnant, I was simply uncomfortable when sitting and had that familiar feeling that something was still hanging on back there.
I went to the bathroom, again armed w/ my hand mirror, and revealed the culprit. I called my aunt (a nurse) and told her what I saw. She recommended pushing it back in. WTF? I informed her that was not an option.
She then suggested asking my Hubby to help. Did she think I wanted to totally kill my sex life? That was definitely out. I bought some cream and applied a couple times a day.
I was uncomfortable for days this time around. It was the week before Christmas and I was praying it would be gone by the time we traveled to see family. Luckily, it stopped hurting and shrunk about 3 days before we left.
Now for this 3rd time. I'm 6 months pregnant and it's the week before Christmas. After feeling uncomfortable for most of the day, I had the sinking feeling I knew what the problem was.
Sure enough, my hand mirror showed me another visitor.
Like the first one, this one hasn't been too painful and is almost gone which is a good thing because my pregnant belly makes it hard to see anything. I again called my aunt not really for advice but just to marvel at the coincidence that this happened at the same time last year. She again suggested I push it back in.
Now, I'm going to share something that may be TMI, but I think it's important to the story so stop reading right now if you want...
I haven't spent a lot of time researching hemorrhoids because I already know/knew how to take care of them and what causes them, but I am curious as to what they are supposed to look like.
Mine looks like a lima bean so I'm confused as to how I'm supposed to push this thing back in. If it were more like a button or mole I could understand, but this is too oblong and almost flabby.
I really hope this isn't the start of some holiday tradition my body has decided to adopt.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Life Before Kids
I've often thought about things my husband and I didn't do before we had kids. We all have those lists: take a road trip together, travel more, save money, etc.
We visited my sister-in-law and her husband over the summer in Omaha and I was green w/ jealousy most of the time. They live in an apartment in downtown Omaha. They live on the top floor above a bakery. We walked around most of the area which included a farmer's market, numerous shops and restaurants, coffee shops, bakeries, etc. Their apartment also had floor to ceiling windows all around their living/dining room.
The whole time we were there I couldn't help but marvel at the simpleness of their lives and all the options they had to do things. The farmer's market was just a block away! You could hear the night life happening right outside their windows. (Granted some nights it was a little loud, but still it created an awesome atmosphere.)
They had leather furniture, not my taste, but they had the option! With kids that's not exactly the friendliest of fabrics. My sister-in-law is big into home decor (sometimes I don't understand her vision) so there are always a lot of decorative items by the TV or sitting on the bookshelf. Now that it's Christmas time I'm sure their apartment looks like a department store window display.
I couldn't help but be jealous of all they had at their disposal. Not only the variety of venues for food, shopping, and entertainment, but the freedom to do nothing all day if they chose to, to take off on a weekend trip at the last minute, or simply to talk to each other w/o interruptions. Some days I wish I could trade lives w/ them, and others I feel so lucky I have what I do.
Who wouldn't want to spend a weekend in the LBK (Life Before Kids) phase?
We visited my sister-in-law and her husband over the summer in Omaha and I was green w/ jealousy most of the time. They live in an apartment in downtown Omaha. They live on the top floor above a bakery. We walked around most of the area which included a farmer's market, numerous shops and restaurants, coffee shops, bakeries, etc. Their apartment also had floor to ceiling windows all around their living/dining room.
The whole time we were there I couldn't help but marvel at the simpleness of their lives and all the options they had to do things. The farmer's market was just a block away! You could hear the night life happening right outside their windows. (Granted some nights it was a little loud, but still it created an awesome atmosphere.)
They had leather furniture, not my taste, but they had the option! With kids that's not exactly the friendliest of fabrics. My sister-in-law is big into home decor (sometimes I don't understand her vision) so there are always a lot of decorative items by the TV or sitting on the bookshelf. Now that it's Christmas time I'm sure their apartment looks like a department store window display.
I couldn't help but be jealous of all they had at their disposal. Not only the variety of venues for food, shopping, and entertainment, but the freedom to do nothing all day if they chose to, to take off on a weekend trip at the last minute, or simply to talk to each other w/o interruptions. Some days I wish I could trade lives w/ them, and others I feel so lucky I have what I do.
Who wouldn't want to spend a weekend in the LBK (Life Before Kids) phase?
Friday, July 26, 2013
Top 6 Reasons Why Harvest Stinks
Hubby and I took the kids back West the end of June so Hubby could help my dad and family w/ wheat harvest. This took about a week, we were there for 5 of those days.
My family has farmed for the last 3 generations. As you can tell from my list, I didn't care for the farm life.
1) Unpredictable schedules - growing up I didn't see my dad much during harvest. He left early in the morning and got home late at night. I'd see him when we took supper to the field.
2) Poor pay - you never know the price of your wheat until you get to the coop to unload. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. This makes for unhappy workers.
3) The field was dirty - when I was younger it was too hot to wear jeans in the field, but the cut wheat stalks would scratch my legs and my feet would get dirty if I wore sandals.
4) Helping move equipment - when I was old enough to drive, my dad would call and ask me to help he and my brother move to another field. This meant I had to leave the nice air conditioned house and drive 20 minutes on a dirt road trying to find a field I didn't know how to get there (even though I'd been there w/ my mom before). I would then follow my dad, who was driving the combine, w/ his pickkup which was beyond dirty and there was no way to adjust the seat so I had to keep myself propped up by holding on the steering wheel.
5) I had to eat last and help load/clean up - this was probably my least favorite, as I said above it was hot in the field, dirty and itchy. We would take supper late around 7:30 or 8 so I was overly hungry. Sometimes we would have to sit there for awhile before the men came to a stopping point and I wasn't allowed to eat early. It was for the men.
6) Unreliable equipment - things would break down and they would need someone to pick up parts sometimes being an hour away.
When we were home for a week, I helped my mom take supper to the field (my sister-in-law cooked too), my kids rode in the combine, and I listened to my 8 year old niece complain about having to help.
I heard her complain about having to put ice in cups and take drink orders, about having to be out in the heat and how itchy her feet were getting.
I passed on my wisdom telling her she was going to go through this every summer, I did and I hated it too.
Every night we were in the field, most of my family was there. My grandpa who owns some of the land we farm and is retired, my aunt, my kids and myself, my sister-in-law and her 4 kids. We sat around a folding table eating and talking.
After years of hating the field, I loved seeing the excitement in my kid's faces when they saw their daddy and the combine, I loved the laughs and conversation we shared, even after the men went back to the field.
I finally understood why going to the field was so important.
My family has farmed for the last 3 generations. As you can tell from my list, I didn't care for the farm life.
1) Unpredictable schedules - growing up I didn't see my dad much during harvest. He left early in the morning and got home late at night. I'd see him when we took supper to the field.
2) Poor pay - you never know the price of your wheat until you get to the coop to unload. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. This makes for unhappy workers.
3) The field was dirty - when I was younger it was too hot to wear jeans in the field, but the cut wheat stalks would scratch my legs and my feet would get dirty if I wore sandals.
4) Helping move equipment - when I was old enough to drive, my dad would call and ask me to help he and my brother move to another field. This meant I had to leave the nice air conditioned house and drive 20 minutes on a dirt road trying to find a field I didn't know how to get there (even though I'd been there w/ my mom before). I would then follow my dad, who was driving the combine, w/ his pickkup which was beyond dirty and there was no way to adjust the seat so I had to keep myself propped up by holding on the steering wheel.
5) I had to eat last and help load/clean up - this was probably my least favorite, as I said above it was hot in the field, dirty and itchy. We would take supper late around 7:30 or 8 so I was overly hungry. Sometimes we would have to sit there for awhile before the men came to a stopping point and I wasn't allowed to eat early. It was for the men.
6) Unreliable equipment - things would break down and they would need someone to pick up parts sometimes being an hour away.
When we were home for a week, I helped my mom take supper to the field (my sister-in-law cooked too), my kids rode in the combine, and I listened to my 8 year old niece complain about having to help.
I heard her complain about having to put ice in cups and take drink orders, about having to be out in the heat and how itchy her feet were getting.
I passed on my wisdom telling her she was going to go through this every summer, I did and I hated it too.
Every night we were in the field, most of my family was there. My grandpa who owns some of the land we farm and is retired, my aunt, my kids and myself, my sister-in-law and her 4 kids. We sat around a folding table eating and talking.
After years of hating the field, I loved seeing the excitement in my kid's faces when they saw their daddy and the combine, I loved the laughs and conversation we shared, even after the men went back to the field.
I finally understood why going to the field was so important.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
My Name is Megan ... and I have no idea who I am
Updated version
As I stated in an earlier post, I turned 30 on my last birthday. Like anyone reaching a milestone birthday, I've done some reflecting on my life.
I took a Philosophy class about 2 years ago and hated it. I'm not a deep thinker nor am I one to take risks and speak my mind.
The final for this class was to write 2 essays. The first question being: What did you expect to learn from this class? The second: What DID you learn from this class?
We were given these questions a week before the final so I had time to think about my answers. And what I came up w/ (and have probably already subconsciously knew) is that I am a naive person.
It was handed down to me by my mom who thinks the best of everyone, gives them the benefit of the doubt, and has to make conversation w/ every person she meets.
Not to mention, we didn't have a lot of "family" discussions about sex, alcohol, etc. My mom just assumed I learned everything I needed to know in school which was true, but it would have been nice to have my mom to talk to about it.
I was also your typical good girl who did everything I was supposed to, never broke the rules (much), and looked the other way when something uncomfortable was going on.
So this Philosophy opened my eyes a little to the fact that I had no idea who I was as a person. I had my BA in English (Creative Writing), I was a wife and mother, I had a part time job I really enjoyed, and I was pregnant w/ my 2nd child.
Yet I didn't really have a feel for who I was. I've really started thinking about this a month or 2 before my birthday and have yet to come up w/ an answer.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a wife, mother, etc. but feel like my life is lacking something. In high school I wanted to be a screenwriter, in college I just wanted to write something and get published.
Now I'm just struggling to find the time to write anything (hence this blog was formed).
Anyone else out there struggling w/ their identity?
As I stated in an earlier post, I turned 30 on my last birthday. Like anyone reaching a milestone birthday, I've done some reflecting on my life.
I took a Philosophy class about 2 years ago and hated it. I'm not a deep thinker nor am I one to take risks and speak my mind.
The final for this class was to write 2 essays. The first question being: What did you expect to learn from this class? The second: What DID you learn from this class?
We were given these questions a week before the final so I had time to think about my answers. And what I came up w/ (and have probably already subconsciously knew) is that I am a naive person.
It was handed down to me by my mom who thinks the best of everyone, gives them the benefit of the doubt, and has to make conversation w/ every person she meets.
Not to mention, we didn't have a lot of "family" discussions about sex, alcohol, etc. My mom just assumed I learned everything I needed to know in school which was true, but it would have been nice to have my mom to talk to about it.
I was also your typical good girl who did everything I was supposed to, never broke the rules (much), and looked the other way when something uncomfortable was going on.
So this Philosophy opened my eyes a little to the fact that I had no idea who I was as a person. I had my BA in English (Creative Writing), I was a wife and mother, I had a part time job I really enjoyed, and I was pregnant w/ my 2nd child.
Yet I didn't really have a feel for who I was. I've really started thinking about this a month or 2 before my birthday and have yet to come up w/ an answer.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a wife, mother, etc. but feel like my life is lacking something. In high school I wanted to be a screenwriter, in college I just wanted to write something and get published.
Now I'm just struggling to find the time to write anything (hence this blog was formed).
Anyone else out there struggling w/ their identity?
It's been a year since I wrote the above post. I now have 3 children, the oldest is in kindergarten. I still feel like I'm lacking in areas. Again, I love being a mother but feel that's all anyone ever sees me for. I'm Carsen's mom when I volunteer in his classroom. When I go home to visit my parents everyone wants to see the kids, that's my purpose in life: to give people optimal viewing of my children.
Even my Hubby (who is super supportive of me and completely understanding) I feel only sees me as a Mom. We took a Marriage retreat class w/ 4 other couples thru our church earlier this year and when asked to name something you admire about your spouse, every husband in the room stated their wife was a good mother.
Now I'm proud my Hubby thinks I'm a good mom. I'd be upset if he didn't, but I didn't want my whole identity to be simply Mom.
I like to think of myself as a writer, a great organizer, an entertainment junkie, a great typist, and a great friend. Now these may not sound like great characteristics, but they mean something to me and I want people to know those in addition to the great mother thing.
I'm going to continue to find my identity and truth be told I may never find her, but I need to get out of my comfort zone and find her.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Summer Vacation Stress
My son just finished his 1st year of preschool. 2 days a week for 2.5 hours. It was nice to have those 2 mornings free for some one on one time w/ Baby Girl.
And let's be honest, it was nice to have that break from the Boy. I love him to pieces, but he can be hard to handle sometimes. (On the plus side, his meltdowns have almost disappeared completely or last for only a minute at most.) Next year he'll go to preschool 3 mornings a week.
Like every other mom out there, I was dreading summer break. I was already having trouble scheduling morning activities for 2 mornings a week, now I was going to have to come up w/ 3 or more!
We visit 3 different libraries a week so that takes care of about 3 days. Our rec center has a couple different activities for 3-5 year olds I plan to enroll him in not to mention blastball starts next month.
In the midst of all this panic to stay busy, I'm also finding it hard to fit everything into our schedule. Crazy, right? A lot of activities start at the same time on the same days.
There's story hour at 3 different libraries, special programs/story times b/c of summer reading, rec center activities, vacation bible school, visiting grandparents (fair, harvest), play dates w/ friends, swimming lessons, visiting the pool. Just to name a few.
Some activities I haven't signed the Boy up for yet. I'm still trying to make the pieces fit. It seems silly to stress about trying to fit all these different programs into our summer. The Boy isn't going to know what activity we're missing so what's the point in trying to hit them all?
Swimming lessons and pool time are pretty high on the priority list. Story times and library programs are okay to miss. Visits to grandparents will happen at specific times during the summer, easy to plan around. The rest will just have to happen week by week.
Anyone else having trouble fitting everything into their summer?
And let's be honest, it was nice to have that break from the Boy. I love him to pieces, but he can be hard to handle sometimes. (On the plus side, his meltdowns have almost disappeared completely or last for only a minute at most.) Next year he'll go to preschool 3 mornings a week.
Like every other mom out there, I was dreading summer break. I was already having trouble scheduling morning activities for 2 mornings a week, now I was going to have to come up w/ 3 or more!
We visit 3 different libraries a week so that takes care of about 3 days. Our rec center has a couple different activities for 3-5 year olds I plan to enroll him in not to mention blastball starts next month.
In the midst of all this panic to stay busy, I'm also finding it hard to fit everything into our schedule. Crazy, right? A lot of activities start at the same time on the same days.
There's story hour at 3 different libraries, special programs/story times b/c of summer reading, rec center activities, vacation bible school, visiting grandparents (fair, harvest), play dates w/ friends, swimming lessons, visiting the pool. Just to name a few.
Some activities I haven't signed the Boy up for yet. I'm still trying to make the pieces fit. It seems silly to stress about trying to fit all these different programs into our summer. The Boy isn't going to know what activity we're missing so what's the point in trying to hit them all?
Swimming lessons and pool time are pretty high on the priority list. Story times and library programs are okay to miss. Visits to grandparents will happen at specific times during the summer, easy to plan around. The rest will just have to happen week by week.
Anyone else having trouble fitting everything into their summer?
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Meetup Group Gripes
I belong to a Meetup group (a website that pairs people w/ similar interests according to location like writers, bird watchers, homeschooled kids, SAHM). I joined last summer when we moved to Wichita.
For the most part I enjoy the outings and I've met one really great mom who I do things w/ outside the group. I do, however, have a few complaints about the group.
1) Home Play Dates - Many of the activities offered are play dates at other Mom's homes. My complaint about this activity is that every month the same mom's RSVP to go to these play dates. Most of them have more than 2 kids which I understand, they don't want to take that many kids out to a public activity, but for those of us who live outside of Wichita (that's right it usually takes me over 30 min. to reach an activity), we would like a chance to attend these play dates. There is a limit on how many people can attend each play date so as you can imagine, they fill up almost immediately after the event is created.
2) Other Moms/Kids - After you've attended a few group activities you know which kids/moms you want to avoid. There aren't many kids in the group my son's age, at least not boys, and there's one mom/child I do NOT want my son to play with. So I tend to avoid any activities where there isn't a group larger than 4 moms. When there are less kids, that's more one on one time my son would spend w/ the "problem" child.
3) Organizational Meetings - Once a month the group gets together to plan the next months activities. They usually meet on a Tuesday or Wednesday night at 6:30 PM in Wichita. My Hubby usually doesn't get home from work until 6:45 PM so chances are slim I will attend a meeting. I think the group is doing a good job of choosing the activities but it would be nice to have a say in what goes on the calendar. Some people complain b/c all the activities happen on the East side of Wichita and they live on the West side.
4) Time of Activity - ALL the activities take place in the morning. Not every day, but every activity has a start time in the AM. I can't figure out why they don't schedule any afternoon activities. I understand some kids need to be picked up from school, nap time conflicts, etc. but it would be nice to have other options. (I know I could bring this point up at the organizational meetings)
5) My Schedule - When school was still in session, it seemed like a lot of fun activities happened on Tuesday mornings. My son had preschool every Tuesday and Thursday meaning I couldn't attend. The time it would have taken me to drive to and from Wichita I wouldn't have had any time to participate in the activity. Next year, my son will go to school on M, W, F. Hopefully we won't miss as many fun activities.
I've met some great moms through this group and none of these complaints are severe enough to make me quit the group. It's just therapeutic to B***H and let off some steam.
Thanks for listening (reading)!
A quick favor: Could someone PLEASE like my page on Facebook?! I haven't done much w/ the page, but I think one of the reasons is I know no one is looking. Help me boost my self esteem!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
I'm NOT a Morning Person
I've never been a morning person. In college I could sleep until at least 11 on the weekends. And I didn't even stay up that late the night before. (Again, I was lame in college.)
After I got married and started work in the "real world" it was hard to sleep past 8 or 9 on the weekends.
And then after our son came we found sleep wherever we could get it. After my daughter came, Hubby would let me sleep in most weekends. Once she was older, she didn't need to be fed immediately after waking which meant I didn't need to get up right away.
My usual morning routine has been: Hubby gets up, showers, leaves for work, I'm still in bed. Our son comes in about 30 minutes later to tell me Good morning and would I make him breakfast. (This is usually roughly 7:30.)
I then stall as long as I can (usually another 15-30 min) until the Girl wakes up.
Over the weekend Hubby was gone so I was playing the single parent. My son insisted on getting up at 6:30 Saturday morning and wanted milk which he can't get himself so I HAD to get up. I couldn't stall him. (I know how lazy/selfish of me to want to spend time in bed.)
After I got the water, I snoozed on the couch while he watched TV. Baby girl didn't get up until almost 8.
I'm embarrassed to admit that when my kids force me to get up earlier than I want, I tend to be a little on the cranky side. I'm short w/ my son, scold him for small things, and find fault w/ almost everything.
I know being a mother is my full time job and I'm supposed to be at their beck and call at every moment, but mornings are not the time I turn into June Cleaver and have breakfast and a smile waiting for them.
I'm working on changing my attitude. Just like I tell my son. I'm waiting for the day to come when I tell him I don't like his attitude and he tells me he doesn't like mine either.
That will not be a very happy day for either one of us.
After I got married and started work in the "real world" it was hard to sleep past 8 or 9 on the weekends.
And then after our son came we found sleep wherever we could get it. After my daughter came, Hubby would let me sleep in most weekends. Once she was older, she didn't need to be fed immediately after waking which meant I didn't need to get up right away.
My usual morning routine has been: Hubby gets up, showers, leaves for work, I'm still in bed. Our son comes in about 30 minutes later to tell me Good morning and would I make him breakfast. (This is usually roughly 7:30.)
I then stall as long as I can (usually another 15-30 min) until the Girl wakes up.
Over the weekend Hubby was gone so I was playing the single parent. My son insisted on getting up at 6:30 Saturday morning and wanted milk which he can't get himself so I HAD to get up. I couldn't stall him. (I know how lazy/selfish of me to want to spend time in bed.)
After I got the water, I snoozed on the couch while he watched TV. Baby girl didn't get up until almost 8.
I'm embarrassed to admit that when my kids force me to get up earlier than I want, I tend to be a little on the cranky side. I'm short w/ my son, scold him for small things, and find fault w/ almost everything.
I know being a mother is my full time job and I'm supposed to be at their beck and call at every moment, but mornings are not the time I turn into June Cleaver and have breakfast and a smile waiting for them.
That will not be a very happy day for either one of us.
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