Museum of Modern

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Bye, Bye Breastfeeding

I recently quit nursing Baby C. I was feeding her only twice a day, she was drinking water and juice plus eating table food and she was getting up earlier than normal and not going back to sleep after I would nurse her. I felt (a little hesitantly) it was time to stop.

I had trouble nursing C, my son. Because he was my first I didn't know what to expect in the whole breastfeeding area. I didn't ask any questions at the hospital and the nurses didn't provide a lot of support. It didn't help matters that he was content to sleep the whole time we were in the hospital. It wasn't until we brought him home that he realized he was hungry. I only lasted about 2 months nursing him.

My oldest daughter, A, was born hungry. She screamed until I was out of recovery and latched right on. I nursed her for 10 months and loved every minute of it. Well those first few months were rough b/c she wanted to eat constantly and consistently, every 2 hours, and she would nurse for close to an hour at a time. She liked to snooze and snack we called it.

Baby C was an easy baby to nurse too, but I felt she would sleep better and get more milk if we switched to formula. She took a bottle fine for about 3 days then she refused. I had to practically force it on her. Then she got the stomach bug so we avoided formula all together.

That was almost a week ago. She still won't have anything to do w/ a bottle or formula. We even gave her some Vitamin D milk. She spit it right out and pushed the cup away.

Her behavior is normal and she's still drinking water and eating table food just fine. The nurse told me not to worry. She's probably just weaned herself.

Not worry? Isn't formula a baby's main source of nourishment and nutrition the first year of life? How could I not worry? At her 9 month well baby check, Baby C was in the 9% for weight. She's so tiny! And w/o a main source of nutrition I'm afraid she's going to lose weight. But if the doctor isn't concerned I'm trying not to be either.

I got some good advice from other moms about introducing chocolate milk and then slowly adding white milk. Or trying almond or soy milk. I did give her some Vitamin D w/ ovaltine last night and she drank a couple ounces. I had to mop the floor when she was done b/c she would throw her cup and it would leak or she would drool it onto the floor.

Then of course I'm kicking myself b/c I decided to stop nursing. If I hadn't would she still be refusing milk? Would she be refusing me? Would she have gotten that stomach bug? So many what ifs.

That's normal for a mom though, right? This is my 3rd baby and I've been calling the nurse and emailing my Aunt (who's a nurse) over every little thing. B/c this baby is different than my older 2. She's most likely going to be my pickiest eater, or she'll be lactose intolerant or allergic to dairy (Lord I hope not).

But all those calls to the doctor's office made me feel like an incompetent mom. Like I couldn't take care of my child. I think every mom will agree that's a scary feeling.

I know it's okay to ask for help no matter how much you want to show everyone you can do it on your own.

My Aunt suggested I try nursing again. It's been 10 days. Will my milk still be there or come right back in? I'm nervous to try. Will my nipples still be "tough enough?"

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