Museum of Modern

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

This time it's for Real

I've been trying to start another Whole30 for months. I meal plan, food prep, make it one day on plan and then the headaches are so bad I cave.

I found a great support group on Facebook and it's awesome for motivation but I can't seem to keep myself motivated.

Back in March I completed half of a Whole30 before spring break happened and we traveled and failed to plan. But in those 2-3 weeks my pants felt better and I could visibly tell my stomach was getting flatter. I still used some dressings and such with sugar so the benefits of increased energy and better sleeping hadn't occurred.

I ordered dressings and sauces from Tessamae's a few weeks ago and while they are all compliant, they are not as tasty as I had hoped. Balsamic vinegar is not my favorite flavor but I'm going to make it work because I want those end results.

I've daydreamed, goal set, mentally prepared, and cleared the majority of junk out of my house. My kids will still eat like they did before and my Hubby travels so much he claims it will be too hard to stay compliant (part of me agrees, the other part just thinks he's too lazy to try).

I'm not looking to remedy any health issues, I only wish to see an increase in my energy level and a decrease in my waist size.

I think the final straw was I had to buy a bigger size in jeans. The last time I bought a bigger size I had just had a baby. No baby this time. Only poor eating choices. Winter is coming and I will not cover up with a sweatshirt every day.

This time I'm serious and determined to make it through the entire 30 days. I owe it to myself and my family. My self esteem has taken a hit and my overall attitude has seriously gone downhill.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Happy Anniversary!

Hubby and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary last week. He was traveling for work in Colorado Springs. I spent the evening at church with a wonderful group of Moms so I wasn't alone.

We've never been big on presents and flowers, usually just the occasional card. Well this year we both kind of dropped the ball. Because we didn't see each other last week we didn't have a chance to exchange anything.

A date night did happen this past Saturday after weeks of planning for Hubby to be off (he took a vacation day) and scheduling a babysitter.

We planned a wild night out consisting of a trip to Aldi, a stop at Verizon, Best Buy and dinner at P.F. Chang's.

I know we're real exciting and romantic, but sometimes the best dates consist of running errands and spending time together. The Aldi trip saved me running into Wichita twice that day, our phones are due for an upgrade and we wanted some info about how much our bill would go up (we didn't go with the upgrade but did change our plan).

The battery on our laptop has been dying for over a year. It needs to be plugged in at all times in order to work and that's been a huge inconvenience for us. What a great anniversary gift to each other!

Going into the store, we decided on what we wanted in a computer and how much we wanted to spend. An awesome salesman, James, took great care of us recommended a 2 in 1 Dell laptop that had been returned to the store a week or so before so it was discounted significantly, but still about $100 over our starting budget. We decided to go for it. It was too good of a deal to pass up.

I'm not  even going to pretend I know what I'm talking about when it comes to computers. All I can remember is the laptop had a lot of memory, the battery life was close to 8 hours and it's nice and compact. We lost our 10 key on the keyboard but we were ok w/ that.

Because we were already breaking our budget slightly, we asked James to show us a new printer too. Our old one hadn't worked in roughly 3 years. It was the printer that had come w/ our desktop and that was brand new in 2001.

James showed us a printer that looked like it belonged in a large office facility. It could print, copy, scan and fax and could be used wireless. All for $100!

After making several 80's jokes, we paid for our new technology and left.

Dinner at P.F. Chang's was delicious as always. Hubby and I had eaten little for lunch in preparation for our night out. We ordered from their dinner for two menu and added 2 appetizers. I told you we were hungry.

Two of those appetizers were gone before our entrees arrived and our waiter so eloquently told us, "I have to say you all are impressing me. That was a lot of food."

Hubby and I laughed. When the waiter left we looked at each other in embarrassment and amusement. What a way to boost our self esteem! I pushed my plate away after that remark and asked for a to go container.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Mother-less Day

When Hubby is gone for work I usually binge watch different shows on Netflix. These past 2 weeks I took advantage of one of our local libraries and checked out season 1 of The Millers.

One of the episodes was a Mother's Day episode and Jayma Mays character, her husband and daughter celebrate "Mother-less Day." A day she didn't have to be a mother and her daughter didn't have to follow any rules.

I know Mother's Day has come and gone this year, but I wanted to touch on this subject. Isn't a "Mother-less Day" what every mother really wants each year? The problem is not many mothers want to admit it.

We all feel guilty about wanting to spend a day that's supposed to show Mom how much she's loved and be about family, by ourselves doing whatever we want.

My kids are little and don't fully understand Mother's Day. Carsen knows it's special, but rarely do I receive a gift of any kind. I think this year he was even out of town that weekend.

I usually get to pick the restaurant we eat lunch and take a nap in the afternoon. That's enough for me and I still feel guilty about my husband being alone with the kids for that long a period of time even though I feel I deserve the break.

How can we get over this guilt? We all deserve a break once in awhile and I think once a year isn't too much to ask.

If your husband and kids likes to plan an exciting day of spoiling and pampering you, good for you! If your family has an annual Mother's Day tradition of going out for brunch, that's great too! I love family traditions. Our family hasn't started many yet. We're still hanging on to the traditions we grew up with, hoping to make new ones.

I think next year my plan is to introduce the tradition of "Mother-less Day." If my family knows about it enough in advance, we can all plan accordingly.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Accounting problems



I'm going to admit something to you all. I haven't balanced our checking account in maybe 2 years. After moving here we had to open a new bank account which meant we got a clean slate. A fresh blank check register.

When we opened that new account we also merged our bank accounts. I've never been great at writing down every transaction but with both of us using the account, Hubby quickly stopped saving his receipts after he would use his card. After a few months I couldn't make our account balance.

Surprisingly, we realized the check register wasn't working, we found an app that worked great. I was looking at our account a couple times a week to make sure I had everything written down. It was balancing every time.

Until it wasn't.

I was still keeping track of the checks I wrote and card transactions, but the numbers were still red. Once all the checks cleared, I cleared the app and started over. That lasted about 6 months. I still don't know what I did wrong.

I've slacked again. It might be time to wipe the slate clean again.

Every time Hubby gets paid (every 2 weeks) I sit down Thurs. night, pay our bills, bring the register up to date and budget the next 2 weeks. We use online bill pay as I'm sure most of you do too. It's fast, easy to use and doesn't take much time.

This last bill paying session didn't go so well. I paid what was due, reviewed, did some math, made some notes, and evidently forgot to click finish. None of the bills were paid and I didn't find out until today. 5 days past most of the due dates. Damn interest rates.

And it's all my fault. I put off checking our account b/c I thought I had taken care of everything. Apparently I need to double and triple check from now on.

Why does money have to be so hard?


Sunday, July 26, 2015

When Does School Start?

I've read some great blog posts this past week that have really summed up my life lately. I've been in a kind of funk for several reasons. 

1) I failed at my second attempt at completing a Whole30. 
2) My motivation to do anything has slowly disappeared. 
3) My children are becoming more and more annoying every day. 

My oldest two fight like crazy. Carsen knows how to push buttons and he does so on a routine basis causing Ainsley to either tattle on him or scream her head off and cry because he's doing something she doesn't like. 

Carsen has also developed an attitude and can throw a fit like you've never seen. I'm talking about pouting, stomping, screaming, crying, kicking the seat, throwing his body around, etc. it's really a sight to see. 

And it's very hard for me to control my temper when he does this. I yell, I hit things, kick things, verbalize that I'm annoyed at something or someone, essentially being a great role model. (Insert sarcasm.) He's got a great blue print for how a fit should be thrown. 

I just don't know how many more days I can manage before school starts and he's gone during the day. Don't get me wrong having him home has been great. He keeps Ainsley busy and entertained (they are capable of playing together nicely), he is good about playing with Charlotte and keeping a eye on her when I need to leave the room for a minute, and he's got such an amazing imagination, he loves to create things and make art projects. 

His enthusiasm is so overwhelming though that I find myself more annoyed than excited when he shows me the tracking device or blaster he made out of Lego's when he's already showed me the prototypes before he finally got it right. And it's hard to get excited about the spaceship he made out of a shipping box when there are bits of cardboard box all over the kitchen table and floor. 

Every sentence starts with "Guess what?" and each question is asked at least 3 times before I can catch my breath and answer him. 

I've been especially hard in him these last few weeks and it's my attitude that needs to change. He's acting like a normal 6 year old boy and I'm acting like the worst mom ever. 


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

What's My Age Again?

Hubby is an extreme extrovert, social butterfly type. 

I'm an extreme introvert. I like being around other people, but I like being by myself or with my Hubby only. After all this vacation was about spending time just us. 

Our first night at the resort, we got a drink at a piano bar and hung around for awhile. We met some nice couples and Hubby kept saying we needed to make friends with one of them so we could hang out while we were there. 

After the initial round of singing, introductions were made all around the room and we quickly learned 90% of the couples at the resort were on their honeymoon. There were a handful of others celebrating their 10th like us, their 30th or just taking a trip together. 

The next day on the beach we saw a few of the couples from the piano bar. Each one said hello politely but they had no idea who we were. They'd been too drunk the night before to remember they'd met us. 

Hubby wondered why we couldn't make a connection with anyone. (Let me point out that we weren't introducing ourselves to every couple at the resort. We'd smile at people at the bar or pool and then chit chat.) 

After about 2 days I figured it out. How do I usually connect with someone? My kids. They are a great confidence booster and my number one way of meeting new people. Especially when I have them with me. They're a nice way to break the ice. 

When a good 3/4 of the couples we introduced ourselves to were on their honeymoon, we couldn't very well bond over our children. I was at a loss for conversation beyond "Where are you from?" and "How long are you here for?" 

It was at this time I started to feel old. Sometimes I still think I'm in my mid 20's and then it hits me I'm 32. 

I wasn't scared when I turned 30 and I'm not afraid of getting older. It can just be a rude awakening when the crowd you're with isn't moving at the same speed as you. 

Friday, June 12, 2015

Back to Reality

Well we had an amazing time in Jamaica. As much as we missed the kids, we still didn't want to come home. It was so nice to have down time and be relax the whole day. We swam in the ocean every day, laid on the beach, ate at amazing buffets and restaurants and drank to our hearts content.

It should have been just what we needed to reset ourselves. We talked about how we wanted to change our attitudes, how we wanted to handle the demands of our children from now on.

Hubby needs to work on keeping his cool and not snap as quickly. I need to work on not being irritated/annoyed by the little things. (Please tell me other parents experience these faults as well??)

Our flight landed in Denver at 11 PM Mountain time Tues. night. By the time we got our luggage and called the hotel shuttle where we'd left our car, it was 12:30 AM. Every hotel in the Denver/Aurora/Limon area was booked. We drove and drove until finally stopping in Burlington at 3 AM.

To say we were exhausted was an understatement. We stopped at the first hotel we came to in Burlington and it wasn't pretty. I think it was America's Best Inn or something similar. It smelled like smoke w/ cigarette burns on the tables and bedspreads, the shower curtain had mildew all over the bottom and the pillows were flat as a pancake.

The room had two double beds which meant Hubby and I didn't have to share. After traveling all afternoon and driving late into the night the last thing I wanted was to cuddle.

We got up early Wed. morning and were back in HC by 12:30. Just in time for lunch.

We left again at 3 PM for another 4 hours in the car. This time w/ our 3 lovely children. Baby C was ready for a nap so she didn't make a peep and the big kids were content to watch a show.

After about 2 hours, Ainsley had fallen asleep so both the girls were snoozing when Carsen started whining about his foot hurting. He made so much noise he woke Charlotte up and she could not be consoled. We had to pull over to change her diaper and give her a snack. After that she was just gonna have to tough it out.

Surprisingly we made it home before dark and got everyone into bed w/ little effort.

It's been 2 days and I'm not 100% on my "resolution" but it's there in the back of my mind. The little voice saying, "Don't get mad, laugh instead, turn it around."

Maybe I'll be better once I get caught up on all the laundry.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

T Minus 7 Days and Counting

We are flying to Jamaica in one week to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary. Our anniversary isn't until Sept. but it worked better with our schedules to go in the summer. We went to Jamaica on our honeymoon to Montego Bay. This time we're going to Negril. 

I can't wait to spend time away from my kids. Is that bad? Do I sound like a bad mom? 

The past month I've been grouchy, snapping at my kids, annoyed for no reason, and just plain tired. Now with summer starting and Carsen home all day every day, I need a break, to recharge and relax without being a Mom. To read as often and as long as I want, to sleep as late as I want and 5 days where I won't have to listen to demands by small children. 

I've got 3 books to take with me and plan to take full advantage of my down time. Sure there will be plenty of beach activities, excursions and sightseeing but I'm really excited about sitting on the beach doing nothing but reading my book. 

I love to travel. Never been afraid of flying. I like the busyness of the airport, people watching is fun. I don't play that game of trying to create a character for each person. 

We looked into switching our seats to the emergency exit row where the rows are wider and it's an additional $85 per person, or something like that. Our seats are located in the rear, not all the way in the back but according to Hubby we're in the most dangerous part of the plane. 

This doesn't scare me all it does is annoy me b/c we'll be one of the last groups to board and have to stand in the aisle while everyone already on the plane are trying to shove their bags into the overhead bins. And we'll have to put our bag in one of the front bins b/c the others are full. This is my least favorite part of flying. 

I'm also terrified of losing my luggage so I always have a carry on. 

The next few days will be full of laundry, packing and crossing things off my to do list. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Things That Drive Me Crazy on a Daily Basis

1. Charlotte waking up before 7 AM. 
2. My kids indecisiveness about breakfast. 
3. Ainsley asking, "Where are we going today?" 
4. Making Carsen's lunch b/c I forgot the night before. (Yep every day.) 
5. School drop off. 
6. Finding time to unload the dishwasher. 
7. TryĆ®ng to figure out what to feed the girls for lunch. 
8. Listening to Carsen whine he's hungry at 4:30 even though he had a snack after school. 
9. Making supper while Charlotte cries/explores around the kitchen. 
10. The incessant, "Is supper ready?" 
11. The clean up. (Enough said.) 
12. The fact that it's the end of the day and I've crossed very little off my to do list. 
13. My kitchen is full of piles. 
14. Being completely exhausted at the end of the day yet feel like I've accomplished nothing. 

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Let's Try this Again

Tomorrow is my first day starting the Whole30 lifestyle. This is my second round and I didn't make it the full 30 days the last time. I lasted 20 days before traveling and poor planning caused me to cheat.

Hubby and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary this year by going to Jamaica the first week in June. I'm running out of time to feel good (and look halfway decent) in my swimsuit! I've been a little out of control the past few weeks. 

When I started this journey the first time, on March 1st, I was completely committed. I had little signs of encouragement posted in the kitchen and bathroom, I had the book, It Starts with Food, and I had a friend who had already completed a Whole30 I could call for advice. 

This time around I'm not as motivated. Even with visions of the beach and summer dresses I still can't get my ass in gear. I wanted to go shopping for cute new dresses in a smaller size rather than larger. 

I should mention I'm not doing this Whole30 strictly for the weight loss. I have been out of control in other areas as well. I've been short with the kids, snapping at them even, I'm lazy and neglecting my house, not working out as much as I used to, just feeling overall unhappy. Something needs to change in a big way. 

I ask that you all send me good thoughts this week as the first 2 weeks are the hardest. Stay tuned! 

Monday, April 20, 2015

The Perfect Neighborhood

When we moved here 3 years ago one of the things we were looking for in a house was a nice neighborhood. A neighborhood where our children could play and be safe and have other kids to play with.

We were lucky and found such a house. We live on a cul de sac which at first one would think is a great idea b/c there's not much traffic. I can tell you that is a myth. Our cul de sac is very busy for many reasons:

1) One house at the end of street has multiple families living in it. This means there are cars coming and going constantly.

2) People turn down the street thinking it's a through street and then must turn around when they get to the end of it. This happens a lot.

3) You'd think people would drive slow down a cul de sac but no they speed down it doing at least 30 mph. Especially the people who live at the end. I guess they think they don't need to slow down until they get closer to their house. 

There are a lot of kids that live on this street and for that we feel our kids are lucky to have playmates so close.

I should say that we live in the middle of the cul de sac and the houses w/ the other kids (at least the ones our children play with) are toward the end of the street.

There are 3 boys Carsen's age that like to come over and play. Every time we pull into the garage one of them rides in just behind us on their bike or scooter. I want to say right away all 3 boys are very nice, sweet, and  for the most part well behaved. Their manners are a bit lacking but what kid has perfect manners?

At the beginning of the school year is when they first started coming over to play w/ Carsen and Ainsley. But what they really wanted we found out pretty quickly, was to play w/ all the things we had in our garage. Ainsley's new trike was too tempting and one boy hopped on it and took off down the street.

Nothing was safe. Bubbles spilled and dumped out, sidewalk chalk broken, random golf balls we had collected on walks thrown into the yard, and every bike, trike, and scooter we owned was pulled out and discarded on the grass.

When everything had been played with, they would grab their own bikes and ride off down the street to their own homes.

Our neighbors told us they had to make the rule that no one but the owners are allowed in the garage. We quickly put that rule into action at our house along w/ no leaving our yard and stay out of the street. I still don't feel comfortable leaving them all alone outside though.

 So far we haven't allowed these boys to come in the house to play. It's only happened once when Ainsley asked and I quickly said no. Seeing their behavior toward our outside toys, I definitely don't want them inside roaming free.

Some nights after seeing us pull into the garage one of them will ring the doorbell and ask if the kids can play. This is around 8:00 at night! Call me a "mean mommy" but that's almost bedtime in this house. 

How do you find the balance between being the house everyone wants to play at and being the house no one wants to play at?

I'm dreading this summer when I want to try all the ideas I've been pinning on Pinterest like homemade sidewalk paint and chalk and other games for fear these boys will want to join in. We may be playing in the backyard for most of the summer.


Monday, April 13, 2015

Poop, Pee, and Laundry

Charlotte has had some crazy poopy diapers lately. One morning last week she woke up and had thrown up all over her crib and herself. She was in a very pleasant mood and happily splashed in the bath.

The next morning her poop had escaped from her diaper and was all over her sheet, blankets, pajamas, and herself. Again into the bath she went.

These were not how I wanted to spend my first minutes after waking up. Both mornings I piled the poopy/puked on clothes and blankets and threw them in the washer. Luckily we have several crib sheets and at least 3 mattress covers. This isn't my first baby.

That would be one of my first pieces of advice. Get yourself more than 2 crib mattress pads. When baby pees outside their diaper or spits up in the middle of the night, you don't have time to run a load before making the bed again and if it happens in the middle of the night you might not feel like starting a load.

Hubby was gone all last week coming home Thursday evening. Saturday we had 2 soccer games and Charlotte woke up about 7 AM. Hubby went in to get her and called for me over the baby monitor. She had pooped through her diaper, up her back and all over her crib.

And b/c that wasn't enough Carsen came out of his room to tell us he'd peed the bed. What was going on?? I was upset b/c his mattress is missing the waterproof mattress pad b/c a few weeks ago Ainsley was peeing the bed a few times a week and it was nice to have a backup to put on in the middle of the night. Again, not my first time.

Hubby soaked up as much pee as he could w/ paper towels and we let it dry all day before putting sheets back on that evening.

Today brought no such accidents thankfully. Hubby is gone overnight and if I wake to find a new pile of stinky laundry to do I'll think the two are connected and that's not funny.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

My POS Van

For anyone that's read my blog you know Hubby and I fought the minivan for a long time. But after we bought it we wondered why we waited so long. The cup holders, the sliding doors, the DVD player. They were all wonderful.

Now 2 years later, we can't wait to trade it in. The DVD player quit working at least 6 months ago, we replaced our front tires around Thanksgiving, every oil change came w/ other diagnoses, our transmission slips every now and again, and this past weekend we blew a rear tire on Interstate.

When the whole transmission started slipping a few months ago we thought about looking for something else. But we've really been trying to stick to our budget since the beginning of the year and decided to wait it out. We had the transmission cleaned/flushed, whatever it is they do to it and that helped w/ the slipping but hasn't stopped it completely.

After the blowout this past weekend, we took it as a sign.


If the loan goes through the way we believe it will, this will be our new car. It's a 2009 Chevy Traverse w/ leather interior, DVD player, tinted windows, remote start, heated seats, and AWD. We're sad about losing the sliding doors and most of the cup holders that the van had, but excited about losing the minivan look, the working more compact DVD player and the fact that it isn't white! 

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

I Have to go Potty...at 10,000 Feet

So I've mentioned before that Hubby is a pilot. Occasionally we'll fly to see our parents. We did this a lot right after we had Carsen for many reasons:
1) We could afford it.
2) It was faster.
3) We thought we were super cool b/c we flew home.

Did I mention the dog (Eddie) also flies? He's a seasoned traveler. Most of the time he's the co-pilot and does very well. At first he's anxious but after take off he settles down and falls asleep.

Ainsley was about 18 months the first time she flew. She didn't want to keep her headset on and loved to look out the window.

Maybe I should mention when we take an airplane home it's a 4-seater. Usually a Cessna 172 or 182.

Charlotte's first trip she was 7 months and also chose not to wear the headset. She fell asleep w/in a few minutes both coming and going. Eddie did not make that trip. Would have been a little crowded to say the least. No room for Eddie to wander on the floor like in the car.

Now to the point of this post:
At the end of Spring Break, we flew up to see Hubby's sister in Omaha, NE. Charlotte again didn't want to wear the headset which was fine, but this trip she didn't fall asleep w/in minutes even though she was beyond exhausted.

No she decided to scream for an hour and 15 minutes of the 2 hour trip. She fell asleep during the last 20 minutes. Hubby and I passed her back and forth for most of the trip. The older kids played the iPad.

On the return trip is where things got interesting. Carsen had been the co-pilot on the flight to Omaha so on the way home it was Ainsley's turn which meant Carsen was sitting in the back next to me.

About an hour into the flight, Carsen said he had to go potty. Hubby told him we still had an hour to go, could he hold it? That was met w/ a very abrupt shake of his head and him clutching his pants.

Hubby and I exchanged glances over the seat and I mentioned I had a water bottle.

I had no idea how much pee actually came out when a person pees! I had a small Dasani bottle and he almost filled it.

It's not the first time we've dealt w/ bodily fluids. When I was pregnant w/ Ainsley I threw up in the plane in one of those air sickness bags.

Hubby threw it out the window. Can't imagine the surprise if that landed on someone.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Bye, Bye Breastfeeding

I recently quit nursing Baby C. I was feeding her only twice a day, she was drinking water and juice plus eating table food and she was getting up earlier than normal and not going back to sleep after I would nurse her. I felt (a little hesitantly) it was time to stop.

I had trouble nursing C, my son. Because he was my first I didn't know what to expect in the whole breastfeeding area. I didn't ask any questions at the hospital and the nurses didn't provide a lot of support. It didn't help matters that he was content to sleep the whole time we were in the hospital. It wasn't until we brought him home that he realized he was hungry. I only lasted about 2 months nursing him.

My oldest daughter, A, was born hungry. She screamed until I was out of recovery and latched right on. I nursed her for 10 months and loved every minute of it. Well those first few months were rough b/c she wanted to eat constantly and consistently, every 2 hours, and she would nurse for close to an hour at a time. She liked to snooze and snack we called it.

Baby C was an easy baby to nurse too, but I felt she would sleep better and get more milk if we switched to formula. She took a bottle fine for about 3 days then she refused. I had to practically force it on her. Then she got the stomach bug so we avoided formula all together.

That was almost a week ago. She still won't have anything to do w/ a bottle or formula. We even gave her some Vitamin D milk. She spit it right out and pushed the cup away.

Her behavior is normal and she's still drinking water and eating table food just fine. The nurse told me not to worry. She's probably just weaned herself.

Not worry? Isn't formula a baby's main source of nourishment and nutrition the first year of life? How could I not worry? At her 9 month well baby check, Baby C was in the 9% for weight. She's so tiny! And w/o a main source of nutrition I'm afraid she's going to lose weight. But if the doctor isn't concerned I'm trying not to be either.

I got some good advice from other moms about introducing chocolate milk and then slowly adding white milk. Or trying almond or soy milk. I did give her some Vitamin D w/ ovaltine last night and she drank a couple ounces. I had to mop the floor when she was done b/c she would throw her cup and it would leak or she would drool it onto the floor.

Then of course I'm kicking myself b/c I decided to stop nursing. If I hadn't would she still be refusing milk? Would she be refusing me? Would she have gotten that stomach bug? So many what ifs.

That's normal for a mom though, right? This is my 3rd baby and I've been calling the nurse and emailing my Aunt (who's a nurse) over every little thing. B/c this baby is different than my older 2. She's most likely going to be my pickiest eater, or she'll be lactose intolerant or allergic to dairy (Lord I hope not).

But all those calls to the doctor's office made me feel like an incompetent mom. Like I couldn't take care of my child. I think every mom will agree that's a scary feeling.

I know it's okay to ask for help no matter how much you want to show everyone you can do it on your own.

My Aunt suggested I try nursing again. It's been 10 days. Will my milk still be there or come right back in? I'm nervous to try. Will my nipples still be "tough enough?"

Thursday, January 22, 2015

A New Year Indeed

I had high expectations for myself at the beginning of the year (doesn't everyone?). I made my list of resolutions, even broke them down into categories and set them up using Gretchen Rubin's books as a model. Each month focusing on a different project, task or lifestyle change.

The categories were:
-Fitness and Health (at the top of everyone's list I'm sure)
-Budget/Money Management
-Parenting (Orange Rhino challenge)
-Boosting my Blog
-Reading more - I own stacks of books I've never read not to mention a long to read list
-Personal goals - Crystal Paine's Say Goodbye to Survival Mode
-Crafting w/ my kids more
-Take more time for prayer/spiritual time
-De cluttering the house

There's also the mundane resolutions which are more like daily chores you add to your already growing to do list. Stuff like: use lotion every night, wipe down the kitchen counters every night, pick up the living room, etc. These things are almost always the first to go and it's never a big deal. 

Now that we're 3 weeks into the new year, I feel pretty good about my resolutions. I don't have a real plan, just the general idea discussed above. No set schedule of what month these categories would happen just knowing I have a plan is enough.

I had Hubby hang some shelves on one of the walls in our bedroom for all the books I want to read. Get them out there in the open to remind me I need to read them. There's a bit of a theme on those shelves. Parenting, discipline, faith, diet, etc. Evidently, I've had good intentions of bettering myself for quite some time as many of the books I've had for over a year. This year I'm determined to get through them all. That doesn't mean I haven't checked out the occasional book from the library, or course.

My motivation board is set up in the bathroom. It's been in there for a few months but I'm actually using it now!

I got this awesome Erin Condren planner for Christmas just waiting to be filled w/ reminders, meal plans, gym dates, and play dates/activities.

I've started the year off strong going to the Y 3 or 4 times a week. Doing mostly classes, some out of my comfort zone, which is a big step for me!

Did you know it's true what they say about how much better you feel after you've worked out? It's amazing! The key is to keep going back day after day. To keep getting that thrill and rush. On the days I don't go to the Y I'm not as productive around the house, I'm more likely to be in a bad mood and short w/ my kids.

Losing weight has been a large part of my life the past 5 years. All that baby weight that was never lost. After C was born Hubby and I tried South Beach Diet and it worked. After Miss A I was lazy. She was such an unhappy baby I was tired all the time and the motivation never came.

Now that it's been almost a year since Baby C arrived I've finally got the kick in the a$$ I needed. Not to mention events in this coming year: reunions, vacations, warmer weather, swimming to name a few. Right now I would not feel comfortable taking my kids to the pool at the Y, hell I don't think my bathing suit even fits!

Not to mention the closet and dresser full of clothes (mostly pants) I haven't worn in years. And they're such cute pants too. Capri and flood pants I haven't been able to get past my hips since C was born.

So even though I have no idea what category I'll be focusing on next month, the Y classes will still be penciled into my cute planner.